The Lame Chef: It's a Bread Revival

This is not a freshly baked loaf of bread. On the contrary. It's a tired old loaf from Trader Joe's that was forgotten during our end of summer heat wave. No one wants toast when it's 100 degrees. I could have wrapped it in plastic and froze it, as I usually would have done; pulling it out to defrost when I was ready. But I didn't. Instead, I left it wrapped in the back of the fridge, to harden like an old leather boot. Was it salvageable? I had no idea. I just needed two slices with my tea...

I have saved many loaves over the years with this one being one of the driest, densest I've attempted to revive; and with nothing to lose, why not make some toast, anyway? At the very least someone will learn how to save a perfectly good loaf of bread.

First, the mission: to reconstitute this thing back to life. We are looking for moisture and slice-ability. Secondly, we want to eat it. I prefer toasting older bread in slices; bringing out the last of its qualities, and maybe even erasing some of its tiredness.

Here is my most simple revival; an elementary technique I have done a hundred times over. But you will need a microwave. Yes, disparaging chefs, a microwave. Hey, if Ferran Adria can use a microwave to bake-off sponge cake... validation right here:

It's not a big deal, the bread is practically dead anyway; just be sure to stand far away from the microwave, like, in the next room.

And if you are a luddite, as we should be, I'm sure you'll find the time to defrost, naturally. It could take at least an hour in a cool kitchen.

Bread Revival

1) Microwave the loaf in 30 second increments until just market-fresh soft. I find that 90 seconds is usually good enough. You do not want to loosen the bread too much, just soften it to the degree of slice-ability. Avoid a sweaty, steamy loaf, at all costs. It will be spongy.

2) Next, you have two choices: slice and toast to order, or bake the half or whole loaf in a 350' oven for 15 minutes, then slice.

Slicing

Having the right knife is the most important factor when working with whole loaves of bread. People use the wrong knives all the time resulting in injury, or even worse, ruining a good loaf. The wrong knife is a chefs knife, or any knife that is not serrated. Serrated is the only knife one should use for slicing bread.

When you have purchased your serrated "bread knife" from Bed Bath and Beyond, very affordable, remember to gently "saw" the bread. Never push down on the bread, as you will smash it's delicate crumb into a gluey mess.

Update

I can now slice bread with my less dominant left hand... And right dominant hand is less lame everyday(!)

the tired, old boot